The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
