how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
