Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
