IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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