there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I touched a dick in church today
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize