So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
