don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
