she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize