Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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