Tell her she can't have a vagina
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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