I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Randomize
