I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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