Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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