Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
