I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
