and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
