Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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