she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
