Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
