What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
