eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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