pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
