so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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