He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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