Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
if i can run in heels then i can drive
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
