Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
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