Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
