I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
