Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
