Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
