sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
