I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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