May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
You're like the curious george of whores
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
