Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
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