JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
