The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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