it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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