after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
