omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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