allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
