Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
