he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
