We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
