You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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