we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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