Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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