Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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