No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I need moral support for this bender
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
