I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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