I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Green mimosas i think yes
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
