talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
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