O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
