Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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