I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
