I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
