he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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