the new term for farting is butt boxing.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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