Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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