I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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