i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Alive.
So much puke
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
