lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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