Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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