i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
