everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
