I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
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